Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
