awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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