Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
