Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
its liver damage thursday
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
