I'm going to jail i love you
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
