ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
