Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
