forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
