google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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