that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
