dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
