Don't you send me to vm
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
