you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
