Four minutes until I can fart!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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