I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
