he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
