he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
