we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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