winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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