C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
