my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
