it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
