you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Boobs are out for the taking
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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