Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
accomplished twins. life is a go
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
