so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
