i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
