You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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