I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
