I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
