just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
