he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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