I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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