Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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