dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
