Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
