Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
