We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
