How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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