How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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