You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
