He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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