That's intense
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
