Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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