tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
