So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
