I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
