This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
