That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
