whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
