she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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